Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Don't Ask, Don't Tell
Regretsy is a funny new blog that chronicles the latest in interesting offerings on Etsy. I particularly like this one:
Friday, October 23, 2009
Google Bloggers, Please Read!
Sadly, my original blog, MissFUBARReflects.com, was highjacked by some type of evil demon previously unknown to me. Sometimes called a capitalist, this type of fiend lurks in the dark and savagely seizes its unwitting prey, leaving heartbreak and dismay in its slimy wake.
The demon, not to be confused with the Mailer Daemon, trolls blog sites hoping to find domain names that are about to expire. This evil creature cares not whether its victim is young or old, but seems to assume that the older the victim, the more desperate he or she will be to get his or her creation back.
Mine was taken for ransom some time in 2008, I think, and the only buy-back offer the new owner will accept is a minimum bid of $1,000. The beastly miscreant knows that those of us who have worked on our blogs for years will be desperate to get them back and I think some victims will pay just about anything to regain their sangfroid after such a brutal and humiliating violations of their personal lives and cultures. Other, similar names, were also bought by the same said swine, including MissFUBARReflects.org, MissFUBARReflects.biz, etc. I thought I was protected when I trademarked my name, but sadly that turned out not to be the case, and I became fodder for this foul, insatiable and inhumanly cruel animal.
I had no idea that Google blogs and their domains were not registered or protected by Google and apparently a lot of other people have been similarly disheartened and surprised.
Please don't play into this or any other savage brute's dastardly scheme. Please make sure that you register AND PAY FOR your domain names. Keep all of your eyes, whether you have one or four, on said place in said space and be wary of its expiration date. Believe me, no one wants to go through what I have gone through to try to get it back. I finally had to give up for sanity's sake and will be re-blogging under a similar title.
Meanwhile, I hope to repost some of my most popular rants in the very near future, along with some new material.
Usually, I don't share my personal mail with others, but I'm so excited. I have already quit my job and everything. The money should be here very, very soon!!!!!
On Oct 23, 2008, at 2:01 AM, From Mr Jimmy Goh wrote:
From Mr Jimmy Goh
I will try to be brief and laconic. I am Jimmy Goh, a Malaysian lawyer. My late client died leaving behind a large sum of money to the tune of Eight Million Two Hundred Thousand United States Dollars.
I contacted you because you have the same family name as my late client. With your help we can claim the above mentioned financial estate else the bank will confiscate the funds due to the fact that up till now, I cannot get a hold of anyone related to the deceased.
Should my proposal offend you or contradict your moral ethics, I apologize. Should you be interested and wish to help, do reply to me and we can discuss our plan of action, kindly get back to me.
Regards,
Jimmy Goh
Dear Mr. Goh,
Please send the plane ticket. What's a few hundred bucks when you've got 8,000,000? You know what else is strange? I know from my personal experience that when someone passes away, even if he has only a few thousand dollars to his name, relatives and others appear out of nowhere to collect.
I didn't even know I had family in Malaysia. Are there a lot of Jews there? I also found out that I have family Africa, where I am also a millionaire because somebody with my [unknown] family name died in a terrible airplane crash there. Oh, and there is a British barrister waiting to hear from me as soon as possible, too. But mostly, they are (or were) in Africa, because I hear from someone almost everyday in Africa. Who would have thought that all this terrible death would be such good luck for me! But I wonder: Why are all the Jews in Africa passing away so suddenly? And how come they have no families, even though they are all related to me? Is there something that the world needs to know about?
Aren't banks just terrible? They have been confiscating a lot of money here, too, but it's called something else here in America, and it doesn't even matter whether you are dead or alive.
Thank you for being so understanding about my moral ethics. I am sure that yours are similar.
I am waiting to hear from you. Please call me at: [Norfolk Detective Division].
____________________________________________________________________________________________
Hello,
My Name is Mr. Donald Hughes from Highgate, North London and here in England. I work for Brown Shipley Bank London I am writing you from my office that will be of an immense benefit to both of us. In my department, being the assistant manager (Greater London Regional Office), I discovered an abandoned sum of $12.5 Million United State America Dollars (Twelve Million Five Hundred Thousand Million United State America Dollars) in an account that belongs to one of our foreign customers Late Mr. Thompson Morrison American citizen who unfortunately lost his life in the plane crash of Alaska Airlines Flight 261 which crashed on 31st January 2000, including his wife and only daughter.
The choice of contacting you is aroused from the geographical nature of where you live, particularly due to the sensitivity of the transaction and the confidentiality herein. Now our bank has been waiting for any of the relatives to come-up for the claim but nobody has done that. I personally have been unsuccessful in locating the relatives for 2 years now, I seek your consent to present you as the next of Kin /Will Beneficiary to the deceased so that the proceeds of this account valued at 12.5 Million United State America Dollars can be paid to you.
This will be disbursed or shared in these percentages, 60% to me and 40% to you. I have secured all necessary legal documents that can be used to back up this claim we are making. All I need is to fill in your names to the documents and legalize it in the court here to prove you as the legitimate beneficiary. All I require now is your Honest Co-operation, Confidentiality and Trust to enable us sees this transaction through. I guarantee you that this will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the law. Please, provide me the following: as we have 5 days to run it through. This is very very URGENT PLEASE.
1. Full Name
2. Your Telephone Number
3. Your Contact Address.
Your urgent response will be highly anticipated and appreciated.
Best regards,
Mr. Donald Hughes
=
Dear Mr. Hughes,
Aren't we Americans silly? We just go around abandoning money in overseas banks and then just whine and whine about not having any money!
You found me because of the geographical nature of where I live? Do you mean because I live above ground, or what? Or does everybody within a certain mile radius of me also have a claim to all of this cash? Look, I'll be honest with you: I don't want to share. If this money is mine, then, dammit, I should have it. I wouldn't want Mr Morrison, whoever he is, to have died in vain.
You know, usually, my wealthy relatives die in Africa, where I believe there must be some kind of plague. I must get five or six letters a day from lawyers, priests and nuns there. It's really difficult for me now to sort out my net worth!
Since you are in England, there is another barrister who is also holding funds for me that another relative left behind. He, too, was killed in a terrible plane crash. I have lost so much family to these tragic events - and I don't even know any of them! Good thing, that, because maybe their bad luck would rub off on me, don't you think so? Anyway, do you suppose you can go by there and pick up my check?
Thank you so much for contacting me! I am already looking at the fabulous new house and pony that I am going to buy!
____________________________________________________________________________________________
From: MR John Bryben
To: apoiotecnico.correio@iol.pt
Sent: Sat, 18 Oct 2008 8:40 am
Subject: FROM: MR John Bryben..
(JAttention:Sir/Madam,(B
(JWe are Diplomatic Corp that holds special and valuable consignments for(B
(Jreputable clients that are honest and trustworthy. We work in(B
(Jcollaboration with top firms all over the world as we have earned a name(B
(Jas a service whose hallmarks in reliability and confidentiality are(B
(Jrevered.International missions, Diplomats, Embassies of the world have(B
(Jused our services to satisfaction.(B
(JA benefactor has mandated me to get someone that can assist her and her(B
(Jfamily in retrieving her package containing some amount of money from a(B
(JDiplomatic Corp in Europe.The benefactor and her children have been(B
(Jconfined only to their country home and all their calls and movements are(B
(Jmonitored, as a result,its absolutely impossible for them to do anything(B
(Jas regards retrieving the money.(B
(JTheir only means of communication is via internet and you are being(B
(Jcontacted because your assistance is needed in claiming the funds on their(B
(Jbehalf. The amount was accrued from Diamond sales over a period of six(B
(Jyears and its USD75M (Seventy Five Million U.S.Dollars). These funds are(B
(Jfully free of any liens, or encumbrances and are clean, clear and has no(B
(Jcriminal origin.(B
(JThe funds have nothing to do with any form of illegality and all(B
(Jdocumentations needed to prove the source of the funds were submitted when(B
(Jthe funds were being deposited and these documents would prove the source(B
(Jof the funds and authenticate the fact that the funds are clean and has no(B
(Jlinks whatsoever with either drugs or terrorism.(B
(JFor your assistance in this transaction,the benefactor and her Children(B
(Jhave agreed to give you 30% of the total amount of money which is(B
(Jequivalent to US$22.5 Million (Twenty Two Million,Five Hundred Thousand(B
(JUnited States Dollars) and this role simply entails retrieving the funds(B
(Jon their behalf from the Diplomats in Europe and all the information(B
(Jneeded to claim the funds would be sent to you as soon as you indicate(B
(Jyour interest in assisting them as well as providing the following(B
(Jinformation to facilitate the smooth conclusion of the transaction.(B
(J1) Your Full Name: -----------------------------------------------------(B
(J2) Your Address:--------------------------------------------------------(B
(J3) Your Telephone Number:-------------------------------------------(B
(J4) Your Fax Number:---------------------------------------------------(B
(J5) Your Mobile Number:-----------------------------------------------(B
(J6) The Name of the Closest Airport to your City of(B
(JResidence:---------------------------------------------------------------(B
(JI await your response Urgently.(B
(J From Mr.John Bryben(B
(J****PRIVATE & CONFIDENTIAL*****(B
(JThis e-mail and any attached files are confidential and may be legally(B
(Jprivileged.If you are not the addressee, any disclosure,reproduction,(B
(Jcopying,distribution, or other dissemination or use of this communication(B
(Jis strictly not allowed.(B
(J________________________________________________________________________________(B
(JFa(IC'(Ja um seguro sem intermedi(IC!(Jrios.(B
(JMude para Sempre Seguros e POUPE no seu SEGURO AUTOM(IC$BE7(JEL.(B
Dear Mr Bryben,
I have no idea how to read this document, but if there's money involved, just send it, okay? I really need it in order to pay tax on the millions I have inherited from unknown, but very wealthy, dead relatives in Africa, England and Malaysia.
Thanks!
____________________________________________________________________________________________
From: FROM MISS SUSI:
To: (Recipient List Suppressed)
Sent: Mon, 20 Oct 2008 3:59 am
Subject: FROM MISS SUSAN KABIRU
FROM MISS SUSAN KABIRU
NICLA REFUGEE CAMP,
Ivory Coast
Email: suskabi@gmail.com
Miss Susan Kabiru,
Dearest One,
Permit me to inform you of my desire of contacting you.
I am Miss Susan Kabiru,the only daughter of late Mr.
Amadu Kabiru, my late father was a very wealthy cocoa
merchant before he was poisoned to death by his
business associates on one of their outing to discuss
on business year 2007 ,that makes my late father took
me so special because I’m motherless.
Before the death of my late father 29th November 2007 in
a private hospital here in IVORY COAST he secretly
called me on his bedside and told me that he deposited
the sum of $5.5 million USD (Five Million Five Hundred
United State Dollars) on my name as the next of kin also as
the only
child he have, he humbly explained to me that it was
because of this wealth that made his business
associates poisoned him,because of that he adviced me to
seek for a
foreign partner in any country of my choice where I will
transfer this money and use it for investment purpose.
Dear Friend, I am honorably seeking for your assistance
in this ways,
1) To serve as the guardian of this fund since I am a
litle girl of 18 years now.
2) to make arrangement for me to come over to your
country after the money has been transfer.
3) Moreover to take me in your family also as one of
your daughter so that I will continue with my
education to University level.
4) Also I’m willing to give out 20% of the total sum
for your compensation and for your effort after the
successful transfer of this fund to your position.
I look forward to see your reply soonnest so that I
will proceed with the DOCUMENTS for the transfer
of the money to your position.
Thanks once again, may God be with you and your
family.
Please I need your urgent response.this is my alternative
email [deleted]
Yours Faithfully,
Miss Susan Kabiru.
Dear Mss Kabiru,
It is physically impossible for you to be motherless. But, you know, with all those millions of dollars, your father could have bought you a very nice one. That is what they do here in America. You could have gotten a really young and nice-looking one.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
From: Mrs. Marina Litvinenko
Sent: Mon, 20 Oct 2008 10:22 pm
Subject: Hello
Hello,
I am Mrs. Marina Litvinenko, wife of Alexander Litvinenko, a former Russian
security officer who died in a London hospital after apparently being poisoned
with the highly-toxic metal thallium by Mr. Lugovoi, a Russian Government Paid
agent.
This is my husband's life in a video for your full understanding.
[deleted]
Your can read articles about my Husband's ordeal via the websites below:
[deleted]
Please I want you to assist my one daughter and three son and my humble self to
remove USD$3.5M given to my husband before his death by Mr. Berezovsky, A
Russian Billionaire Exiled in UK for exposing an alleged plot to assassinate him
by the Russian Authority and to investigate the death of Anna Politkovskaya, a
Russian Journalist believed to have equally been poisoned by the Kremlin for
writing a book: The Putin's Russia: Life in a Failing Democracy depicted Russia
as a country where human rights are routinely trampled.
The Funds are deposited with a financial firm and I will want to relocate these
funds for investment in your region and with your assistance and advice.
As soon as I receive your response, I will furnish you with more details on this
issue that is stressing me so badly. I do not mind drawing a business agreement
with you.
Best Regards,
Mrs. Marina Litvinenko.
Dear Mrs Litvinenko,
Wow, I'll bet if you were right here in front of me you would bend down and kiss my feet. It is an honor to have someone be so respectful to me. If you knew me, however, you probably wouldn't be so kind.
You see, I am in federal prison for poisoning a government official with highly-toxic metal thallium. His wife paid me to do it so that she could have access to his millions of dollars. Unfortunately, there was a teeny weeny little snag, and now she finds that she must write letters to strangers and beg for their help.
Best that you stick to a European writing campaign. She pretty much has America covered.
Good luck.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Richard April
Sent: Mon, 20 Oct 2008 4:49 pm
Subject: Please, I Need Your Assistance
Good day my dear friend,
With warm heart I offer my friendship and greetings to you, I hope this email
meets you in good time. However strange or surprising this contact might seem to
you, as we have not meet personally or had any dealings in the past, I humbly
ask that you take due consideration of its importance and immense benefit.
It is my pleasure to write and inform you that you has been chosen to act as
next of Kin to Late Mr. Jarold Freeman 68 years old & wife, Late, Mrs. Barbara
Freeman 65 years, both where involve in the Egyptian airliner crash in October
31st 1999, be rest assured that your contact particulars is save and it was
given to me after a due search for a reliable and capable foreigner that will
handle a confidentially transfer of huge sum of money from Ghana to a foreign
bank account.
The deal in details is: A foreigner, Late Mr. & Mrs. Jarold Freeman, was a gold
merchant/contractor with the republic of Ghana and resides here in Ghana not
until his untimely death Nine year ago in ghastly plane crash. (Late Mr. & Mrs.
Jarold Freeman) who perished in the plane crash of OCTOBER 31, 1999 {with
Egyptian airline 990} with other passengers aboard as you can confirm it
yourself at the follow news lines, CNN NEWS, BBC NEWS, CBS NEWS, all the world
radio/TV stations in the United States and London was broadcasting the news as
you can see below.
[deleted]
He made a fix deposit of (US$42,500,000.00) FORTY-TWO MILLION, FIVE HUNDRED
THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLARS, with a Top Finance Company here in Ghana before
his death on OCTOBER 31st, 1999. I am his accountant officer, and till now
nobody has serviced his account or shown up for his money since after his death
till date. Although, efforts have been made by the managements of the Finance
Company to get in touch with his next of kin or any of his relations, but all to
no avail (He had no children or any relative to stand as the next of kin). It
is on this note I consider it proper to negotiate with a trustworthy foreigner
who is willing to assist me, and stand as the next of kin to the Late Mr. Jarold
Freeman, this sum of money is now kept in the DECEASED ACCOUNT, please
understand that this money (US$42.5Million), when transferred into your account
will be shared.
This transaction is 100% risk free, for I have concluded every arrangement to
complete this transaction. Therefore, if you wish to assist me, hasten up and
send the following information to enable us effectively process the necessary
documents for smooth transfer into your account, as to be nominated by you as
the next of kin; you are urgently required to send to me your full address, your
private telephone and fax number for fast and safer communication. This
information will be used in establishing you as the next of kin, giving us a
beautiful opportunity to make it big this time.
I know we have never met or entered into any kind of transaction before as to
know the extent of your trust and honesty. But I personally want to believe that
you will not sit on the money when it finally gets to your account.
The money will be useless if we do not act fast now because our physical law
stated that such fund after 10 years, will be throw into the government account,
the top government officials will direct it into their personal account for
their personal use, but I strongly believed that this government officials does
not deserve to inherit this funds. It is on this note I consider it proper to
write and ask for your consent and permission to support the transfer into your
account.
Await your urgent response.
Sincerely yours ,
Richard April.
(Accountant)
Dear Mr April,
I am not surprised at all to hear from you. This sort of thing happens to me all of the time.
I have had so many relatives die in Africa and other such places that I am unbelievably wealthy now. Well, I will be once the checks come rolling in. I've given my checking account number to an awful lot of official banks there.
So please, I know times are rough there in Ghana, and I think the public would best be served if the government took the money and maybe bought some food and clothes for those poor people who live in little huts and run around naked.
____________________________________________________________________________________________
From: mrprobert456@canada.com
To: mrprobert@canada.com
Sent: Tue, 21 Oct 2008 4:09 pm
Subject: Contact Wanlida Courier Company To Deliver Your Package
Hello once Again
I have been waiting for you since to contact me for your Conformable Bank Draft of $1.5m United States Dollars, but I did not hear from you since for a couple of weeks now. Then I went to the bank to confirm if the draft has expired or getting near to expire and Dr. Wilson the Director of Africa Development Bank told me that before the draft will get to your hand that it will expire also many Foreign banks are reluctant to honor Bank Draft usually come from Africa,so he decided that it would be better that he convert the Bank Draft into cash and packaged your funds of USD1.5 Million in form of Personal Diplomatic Package and send it to you via special diplomatic means and you will receive your funds in your Country.
So I told him to cash the $1.5m USD UNITED STATES DOLLARS to cash payment to avoid losing this funds since Foreign banks are reluctant to honor Bank Draft that comes from Africa as I will be out of the country for a 3 Months Course and I will not come back till ending of December 2008.
What you have to do now is to contact wanlidacourierextn@voila.fr Company as soon as possible to know when they will deliver your Package to you because of the expiring date. For your information, I have paid for the delivering Charge, Insurance premium.
The only money you will send to the Courier Company to deliver your Package direct to your postal Address in your country is ($150.00 US) One Hundred & Five United States Dollars only being Security Keeping Fee of the Courier Company so far, I would have paid that but they said no because they don't know when you will contact them and in case of demurrage.
You are advice to contact R. M. Wanlida Courier Company now for the delivery of your fund with your deposit SECURITY CODE SCTC/2001DHX/567/;
COMPANY NAME: WAN LI DA COURIER EXTENSION
CONTACT DIRECTOR IN CHARGE: MR NANA ABEY
CONTACT EMAIL: wanlidacourierextn@voila.fr
Telephone +233-206490891
You Are To Forward The Following Informations To Them;
1. YOUR FULL NAME:
2. YOUR HOME OR COMPANY ADDRESS:
3. YOUR TELEPHONE NUMBER:
Let me repeat again, try to contact them as soon as you receive this mail on this email (wanlidacourierextn@voila.fr ) to avoid any further delay and remember to pay them their Security Keeping fee of $150.00 US Dollars for their immediate action.
Note this. The Courier Company doesn't know the contents of the Package. I registered it as a BOX of Africa cloths. They did not know the contents were money. This is to avoid them delaying with the BOX. Don't let them know that box contents money ok.
Thanks and God bless you and your family.
Peter Robert.
Okay. If I send $1,000 can I get express shipping?
Thanks!
________________________________________________________________________________________________
From: INTERNATIONAL MONETARY FUND (I
To: MandG57@aol.com
Sent: Tue, 21 Oct 2008 11:55 pm
Subject: Your long overdue Payment.of 8.5m usd
I have a new email address!
You can now email me at: mrs.almahyman28@yahoo.com
- Very Urgent Attention I saw your name (in the Central Computer among the list of unpaid contractors, inheritance next of kin and lotto beneficiaries that was originated from , Europe, Asia Plus Middle east, Americans) among the list of individuals and companies that your unpaid fund has been approved.Your name appeared among the beneficiaries, who will receive a part-payment of your contractual sum and has been approved already for months. You are requested to get back to me for moredirection and instruction on how to receive your fund.However, we received an email from one Mr. Robert Walter who told us that he is your next of kin and that you died in a car accident last week. He has also submitted his account for us to transfer the fund to him including his International passport; we want to hear from you before we can make the transfer to confirm if you are dead or not.Once again, I apologize to you on behalf Of IMF (International Monetary Fund) www.imf.org Failure to pay your funds in time, which according to records in the system had been long overdue.Please reply through my private Information: mrs.almah@yahoo.frYours Sincerely, Mrs.Alma_Hyman (Mrs.)INTERNATIONAL MONETARY FUND (IMF) NIGERIA OVERDUE PAYMENT RELEASE HEAD QUATERS
Oh no! Another tragic death! First there was the Alaskan plane crash, then the Egyptian one, and then the poisoning of the government official, and all of this has meant millions of dollars for me! It reminds me of that movie, "It's Wonderful Life," where every time a bell rings an angel gets its wings, except that every time someone dies I get a bunch of money!
Oh, wait a minute -- are you telling me that i am dead? Bummer. All these millions of dollars to spend and no one's even sure if I'm dead or not.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
From: Morgan David
Sent: Tue, 21 Oct 2008 5:22 am
Subject: FROM MORGAN DAVID (BUSINESS)
Greetings,
I have interest of investing in your country as well as seek your services in a private and confidential matter. My Name is Mr. Morgan David, a senior Auditor heading computing department here in our bank.
On my routine inspection I discovered a dormant domiciliary account with a Balance of ($10.02 Million USD}.I write to seek your indulgence and assistance in transferring this fund to your country through legal means.
I am proposing to make this transfer to a designated bank account of your choice in your country for investment. At the conclusion of this transaction, you will be given 30% of the total amount, 70% will be for me and my Bank colleagues who will help make this business a success.
Let me know if you can handle it.
Regards,
Mr. Morgan David
Dear Mr David,
Because of recent deaths of family members overseas, I do have a lot of money, but rumors of my owning my own country have been greatly exaggerated.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
From: SGT DAVE MORRISOON
To: undisclosed-recipients:;
Sent: Wed, 22 Oct 2008 7:59 am
Subject: BUSINESS PROPOSAL/INVESTMENT
Dear Sir/Madam
My name is Sergent Dave Morrison, I am an American soldier with Swiss
background, serving in the military withthe army’s 3rd infantry division. With a
very desperate need for assistance, I have summed up courage to contact you. I
found your contact particulars in an address journal. I am seeking your kind
assistance to move the sum of ( $ 35 million u.s. dollars ) Thirty Five million
united states dollars to you, as far as I can be assured that my share will be
safe in your care until I complete my service here, this is no stolen money, and
there are no danger involved.
Source of money: Some money in various urrencies was discovered in barrels at a
farmhouse near one of Saddam’s old palaces in Tikrit-Iraq during a rescue
operation, and it was agreed by staff Sgt James Peter and I that some part of s
money be shared among both of us before informing nybody about it since both of
us saw the money first. This was quite an illegal thing to do, but I tell you
what? No compensation can make up for the risk we have taken with our lives in
this hell hole. Of which my brother in-law was killed by a road side bomb last
week. You will find the story of this money on the web address below; The above
figure was given to me as my share, and to conceal this kind of money became a
problem for me, so with the help of
a British contact working here and his office enjoy some immunity, I was able to
get the package out to a safe location entirely out of trouble spot. he does not
know the real contents of the package, and believes that it belongs to a
brithish/american medical doctor who died in a raid here in Iraq, and before
giving up, trusted me to hand over the package to his family in united states.
I have now found a much secured way of getting the package out of Iraq to your
country for you to pick up, and I will discuss this with you when I am sure that
you are willing to assist me. I want you to tell me how much you will take
from this money for the assistance you will give to me. One passionate appeal I
will make to you is not to discuss this matter with anybody, should you have
reasons to reject this`offer, please and please destroy this message as any
leakage of this information will be too bad for us soldier’s here in Iraq. I do
not know how long we will remain here, and i have been shot, wounded and
survived two suicide bomb attacks by the special grace of God, this and other
reasons i will mention later has prompted me to reach out for help, i honestly
want this matter to be resolved immediately,
Please contact me as soon as possible my only way of communication email.
God Bless You,
Sergent Dave Morrison
Wow! $35 million? Is that part of the missing three billion dollars the government sent overseas to help rebuild Iraq? Of course the money is not stolen; you are entitled to it, and so am I because I pay my taxes.
Bummer about your brother-in-law. At least whenever one of my family members dies he dies somewhere in Africa where everybody apparently has millions of dollars in secret bank accounts.
Where in the US are you from, anyway? Are you married?
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
On Oct 23, 2008, at 2:01 AM, From Mr Jimmy Goh wrote:
From Mr Jimmy Goh
I will try to be brief and laconic. I am Jimmy Goh, a Malaysian lawyer. My late client died leaving behind a large sum of money to the tune of Eight Million Two Hundred Thousand United States Dollars.
I contacted you because you have the same family name as my late client. With your help we can claim the above mentioned financial estate else the bank will confiscate the funds due to the fact that up till now, I cannot get a hold of anyone related to the deceased.
Should my proposal offend you or contradict your moral ethics, I apologize. Should you be interested and wish to help, do reply to me and we can discuss our plan of action, kindly get back to me.
Regards,
Jimmy Goh
Dear Mr. Goh,
Please send the plane ticket. What's a few hundred bucks when you've got 8,000,000? You know what else is strange? I know from my personal experience that when someone passes away, even if he has only a few thousand dollars to his name, relatives and others appear out of nowhere to collect.
I didn't even know I had family in Malaysia. Are there a lot of Jews there? I also found out that I have family Africa, where I am also a millionaire because somebody with my [unknown] family name died in a terrible airplane crash there. Oh, and there is a British barrister waiting to hear from me as soon as possible, too. But mostly, they are (or were) in Africa, because I hear from someone almost everyday in Africa. Who would have thought that all this terrible death would be such good luck for me! But I wonder: Why are all the Jews in Africa passing away so suddenly? And how come they have no families, even though they are all related to me? Is there something that the world needs to know about?
Aren't banks just terrible? They have been confiscating a lot of money here, too, but it's called something else here in America, and it doesn't even matter whether you are dead or alive.
Thank you for being so understanding about my moral ethics. I am sure that yours are similar.
I am waiting to hear from you. Please call me at: [Norfolk Detective Division].
____________________________________________________________________________________________
Hello,
My Name is Mr. Donald Hughes from Highgate, North London and here in England. I work for Brown Shipley Bank London I am writing you from my office that will be of an immense benefit to both of us. In my department, being the assistant manager (Greater London Regional Office), I discovered an abandoned sum of $12.5 Million United State America Dollars (Twelve Million Five Hundred Thousand Million United State America Dollars) in an account that belongs to one of our foreign customers Late Mr. Thompson Morrison American citizen who unfortunately lost his life in the plane crash of Alaska Airlines Flight 261 which crashed on 31st January 2000, including his wife and only daughter.
The choice of contacting you is aroused from the geographical nature of where you live, particularly due to the sensitivity of the transaction and the confidentiality herein. Now our bank has been waiting for any of the relatives to come-up for the claim but nobody has done that. I personally have been unsuccessful in locating the relatives for 2 years now, I seek your consent to present you as the next of Kin /Will Beneficiary to the deceased so that the proceeds of this account valued at 12.5 Million United State America Dollars can be paid to you.
This will be disbursed or shared in these percentages, 60% to me and 40% to you. I have secured all necessary legal documents that can be used to back up this claim we are making. All I need is to fill in your names to the documents and legalize it in the court here to prove you as the legitimate beneficiary. All I require now is your Honest Co-operation, Confidentiality and Trust to enable us sees this transaction through. I guarantee you that this will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the law. Please, provide me the following: as we have 5 days to run it through. This is very very URGENT PLEASE.
1. Full Name
2. Your Telephone Number
3. Your Contact Address.
Your urgent response will be highly anticipated and appreciated.
Best regards,
Mr. Donald Hughes
=
Dear Mr. Hughes,
Aren't we Americans silly? We just go around abandoning money in overseas banks and then just whine and whine about not having any money!
You found me because of the geographical nature of where I live? Do you mean because I live above ground, or what? Or does everybody within a certain mile radius of me also have a claim to all of this cash? Look, I'll be honest with you: I don't want to share. If this money is mine, then, dammit, I should have it. I wouldn't want Mr Morrison, whoever he is, to have died in vain.
You know, usually, my wealthy relatives die in Africa, where I believe there must be some kind of plague. I must get five or six letters a day from lawyers, priests and nuns there. It's really difficult for me now to sort out my net worth!
Since you are in England, there is another barrister who is also holding funds for me that another relative left behind. He, too, was killed in a terrible plane crash. I have lost so much family to these tragic events - and I don't even know any of them! Good thing, that, because maybe their bad luck would rub off on me, don't you think so? Anyway, do you suppose you can go by there and pick up my check?
Thank you so much for contacting me! I am already looking at the fabulous new house and pony that I am going to buy!
____________________________________________________________________________________________
From: MR John Bryben
To: apoiotecnico.correio@iol.pt
Sent: Sat, 18 Oct 2008 8:40 am
Subject: FROM: MR John Bryben..
(JAttention:Sir/Madam,(B
(JWe are Diplomatic Corp that holds special and valuable consignments for(B
(Jreputable clients that are honest and trustworthy. We work in(B
(Jcollaboration with top firms all over the world as we have earned a name(B
(Jas a service whose hallmarks in reliability and confidentiality are(B
(Jrevered.International missions, Diplomats, Embassies of the world have(B
(Jused our services to satisfaction.(B
(JA benefactor has mandated me to get someone that can assist her and her(B
(Jfamily in retrieving her package containing some amount of money from a(B
(JDiplomatic Corp in Europe.The benefactor and her children have been(B
(Jconfined only to their country home and all their calls and movements are(B
(Jmonitored, as a result,its absolutely impossible for them to do anything(B
(Jas regards retrieving the money.(B
(JTheir only means of communication is via internet and you are being(B
(Jcontacted because your assistance is needed in claiming the funds on their(B
(Jbehalf. The amount was accrued from Diamond sales over a period of six(B
(Jyears and its USD75M (Seventy Five Million U.S.Dollars). These funds are(B
(Jfully free of any liens, or encumbrances and are clean, clear and has no(B
(Jcriminal origin.(B
(JThe funds have nothing to do with any form of illegality and all(B
(Jdocumentations needed to prove the source of the funds were submitted when(B
(Jthe funds were being deposited and these documents would prove the source(B
(Jof the funds and authenticate the fact that the funds are clean and has no(B
(Jlinks whatsoever with either drugs or terrorism.(B
(JFor your assistance in this transaction,the benefactor and her Children(B
(Jhave agreed to give you 30% of the total amount of money which is(B
(Jequivalent to US$22.5 Million (Twenty Two Million,Five Hundred Thousand(B
(JUnited States Dollars) and this role simply entails retrieving the funds(B
(Jon their behalf from the Diplomats in Europe and all the information(B
(Jneeded to claim the funds would be sent to you as soon as you indicate(B
(Jyour interest in assisting them as well as providing the following(B
(Jinformation to facilitate the smooth conclusion of the transaction.(B
(J1) Your Full Name: -----------------------------------------------------(B
(J2) Your Address:--------------------------------------------------------(B
(J3) Your Telephone Number:-------------------------------------------(B
(J4) Your Fax Number:---------------------------------------------------(B
(J5) Your Mobile Number:-----------------------------------------------(B
(J6) The Name of the Closest Airport to your City of(B
(JResidence:---------------------------------------------------------------(B
(JI await your response Urgently.(B
(J From Mr.John Bryben(B
(J****PRIVATE & CONFIDENTIAL*****(B
(JThis e-mail and any attached files are confidential and may be legally(B
(Jprivileged.If you are not the addressee, any disclosure,reproduction,(B
(Jcopying,distribution, or other dissemination or use of this communication(B
(Jis strictly not allowed.(B
(J________________________________________________________________________________(B
(JFa(IC'(Ja um seguro sem intermedi(IC!(Jrios.(B
(JMude para Sempre Seguros e POUPE no seu SEGURO AUTOM(IC$BE7(JEL.(B
Dear Mr Bryben,
I have no idea how to read this document, but if there's money involved, just send it, okay? I really need it in order to pay tax on the millions I have inherited from unknown, but very wealthy, dead relatives in Africa, England and Malaysia.
Thanks!
____________________________________________________________________________________________
From: FROM MISS SUSI:
To: (Recipient List Suppressed)
Sent: Mon, 20 Oct 2008 3:59 am
Subject: FROM MISS SUSAN KABIRU
FROM MISS SUSAN KABIRU
NICLA REFUGEE CAMP,
Ivory Coast
Email: suskabi@gmail.com
Miss Susan Kabiru,
Dearest One,
Permit me to inform you of my desire of contacting you.
I am Miss Susan Kabiru,the only daughter of late Mr.
Amadu Kabiru, my late father was a very wealthy cocoa
merchant before he was poisoned to death by his
business associates on one of their outing to discuss
on business year 2007 ,that makes my late father took
me so special because I’m motherless.
Before the death of my late father 29th November 2007 in
a private hospital here in IVORY COAST he secretly
called me on his bedside and told me that he deposited
the sum of $5.5 million USD (Five Million Five Hundred
United State Dollars) on my name as the next of kin also as
the only
child he have, he humbly explained to me that it was
because of this wealth that made his business
associates poisoned him,because of that he adviced me to
seek for a
foreign partner in any country of my choice where I will
transfer this money and use it for investment purpose.
Dear Friend, I am honorably seeking for your assistance
in this ways,
1) To serve as the guardian of this fund since I am a
litle girl of 18 years now.
2) to make arrangement for me to come over to your
country after the money has been transfer.
3) Moreover to take me in your family also as one of
your daughter so that I will continue with my
education to University level.
4) Also I’m willing to give out 20% of the total sum
for your compensation and for your effort after the
successful transfer of this fund to your position.
I look forward to see your reply soonnest so that I
will proceed with the DOCUMENTS for the transfer
of the money to your position.
Thanks once again, may God be with you and your
family.
Please I need your urgent response.this is my alternative
email [deleted]
Yours Faithfully,
Miss Susan Kabiru.
Dear Mss Kabiru,
It is physically impossible for you to be motherless. But, you know, with all those millions of dollars, your father could have bought you a very nice one. That is what they do here in America. You could have gotten a really young and nice-looking one.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
From: Mrs. Marina Litvinenko
Sent: Mon, 20 Oct 2008 10:22 pm
Subject: Hello
Hello,
I am Mrs. Marina Litvinenko, wife of Alexander Litvinenko, a former Russian
security officer who died in a London hospital after apparently being poisoned
with the highly-toxic metal thallium by Mr. Lugovoi, a Russian Government Paid
agent.
This is my husband's life in a video for your full understanding.
[deleted]
Your can read articles about my Husband's ordeal via the websites below:
[deleted]
Please I want you to assist my one daughter and three son and my humble self to
remove USD$3.5M given to my husband before his death by Mr. Berezovsky, A
Russian Billionaire Exiled in UK for exposing an alleged plot to assassinate him
by the Russian Authority and to investigate the death of Anna Politkovskaya, a
Russian Journalist believed to have equally been poisoned by the Kremlin for
writing a book: The Putin's Russia: Life in a Failing Democracy depicted Russia
as a country where human rights are routinely trampled.
The Funds are deposited with a financial firm and I will want to relocate these
funds for investment in your region and with your assistance and advice.
As soon as I receive your response, I will furnish you with more details on this
issue that is stressing me so badly. I do not mind drawing a business agreement
with you.
Best Regards,
Mrs. Marina Litvinenko.
Dear Mrs Litvinenko,
Wow, I'll bet if you were right here in front of me you would bend down and kiss my feet. It is an honor to have someone be so respectful to me. If you knew me, however, you probably wouldn't be so kind.
You see, I am in federal prison for poisoning a government official with highly-toxic metal thallium. His wife paid me to do it so that she could have access to his millions of dollars. Unfortunately, there was a teeny weeny little snag, and now she finds that she must write letters to strangers and beg for their help.
Best that you stick to a European writing campaign. She pretty much has America covered.
Good luck.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Richard April
Sent: Mon, 20 Oct 2008 4:49 pm
Subject: Please, I Need Your Assistance
Good day my dear friend,
With warm heart I offer my friendship and greetings to you, I hope this email
meets you in good time. However strange or surprising this contact might seem to
you, as we have not meet personally or had any dealings in the past, I humbly
ask that you take due consideration of its importance and immense benefit.
It is my pleasure to write and inform you that you has been chosen to act as
next of Kin to Late Mr. Jarold Freeman 68 years old & wife, Late, Mrs. Barbara
Freeman 65 years, both where involve in the Egyptian airliner crash in October
31st 1999, be rest assured that your contact particulars is save and it was
given to me after a due search for a reliable and capable foreigner that will
handle a confidentially transfer of huge sum of money from Ghana to a foreign
bank account.
The deal in details is: A foreigner, Late Mr. & Mrs. Jarold Freeman, was a gold
merchant/contractor with the republic of Ghana and resides here in Ghana not
until his untimely death Nine year ago in ghastly plane crash. (Late Mr. & Mrs.
Jarold Freeman) who perished in the plane crash of OCTOBER 31, 1999 {with
Egyptian airline 990} with other passengers aboard as you can confirm it
yourself at the follow news lines, CNN NEWS, BBC NEWS, CBS NEWS, all the world
radio/TV stations in the United States and London was broadcasting the news as
you can see below.
[deleted]
He made a fix deposit of (US$42,500,000.00) FORTY-TWO MILLION, FIVE HUNDRED
THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLARS, with a Top Finance Company here in Ghana before
his death on OCTOBER 31st, 1999. I am his accountant officer, and till now
nobody has serviced his account or shown up for his money since after his death
till date. Although, efforts have been made by the managements of the Finance
Company to get in touch with his next of kin or any of his relations, but all to
no avail (He had no children or any relative to stand as the next of kin). It
is on this note I consider it proper to negotiate with a trustworthy foreigner
who is willing to assist me, and stand as the next of kin to the Late Mr. Jarold
Freeman, this sum of money is now kept in the DECEASED ACCOUNT, please
understand that this money (US$42.5Million), when transferred into your account
will be shared.
This transaction is 100% risk free, for I have concluded every arrangement to
complete this transaction. Therefore, if you wish to assist me, hasten up and
send the following information to enable us effectively process the necessary
documents for smooth transfer into your account, as to be nominated by you as
the next of kin; you are urgently required to send to me your full address, your
private telephone and fax number for fast and safer communication. This
information will be used in establishing you as the next of kin, giving us a
beautiful opportunity to make it big this time.
I know we have never met or entered into any kind of transaction before as to
know the extent of your trust and honesty. But I personally want to believe that
you will not sit on the money when it finally gets to your account.
The money will be useless if we do not act fast now because our physical law
stated that such fund after 10 years, will be throw into the government account,
the top government officials will direct it into their personal account for
their personal use, but I strongly believed that this government officials does
not deserve to inherit this funds. It is on this note I consider it proper to
write and ask for your consent and permission to support the transfer into your
account.
Await your urgent response.
Sincerely yours ,
Richard April.
(Accountant)
Dear Mr April,
I am not surprised at all to hear from you. This sort of thing happens to me all of the time.
I have had so many relatives die in Africa and other such places that I am unbelievably wealthy now. Well, I will be once the checks come rolling in. I've given my checking account number to an awful lot of official banks there.
So please, I know times are rough there in Ghana, and I think the public would best be served if the government took the money and maybe bought some food and clothes for those poor people who live in little huts and run around naked.
____________________________________________________________________________________________
From: mrprobert456@canada.com
To: mrprobert@canada.com
Sent: Tue, 21 Oct 2008 4:09 pm
Subject: Contact Wanlida Courier Company To Deliver Your Package
Hello once Again
I have been waiting for you since to contact me for your Conformable Bank Draft of $1.5m United States Dollars, but I did not hear from you since for a couple of weeks now. Then I went to the bank to confirm if the draft has expired or getting near to expire and Dr. Wilson the Director of Africa Development Bank told me that before the draft will get to your hand that it will expire also many Foreign banks are reluctant to honor Bank Draft usually come from Africa,so he decided that it would be better that he convert the Bank Draft into cash and packaged your funds of USD1.5 Million in form of Personal Diplomatic Package and send it to you via special diplomatic means and you will receive your funds in your Country.
So I told him to cash the $1.5m USD UNITED STATES DOLLARS to cash payment to avoid losing this funds since Foreign banks are reluctant to honor Bank Draft that comes from Africa as I will be out of the country for a 3 Months Course and I will not come back till ending of December 2008.
What you have to do now is to contact wanlidacourierextn@voila.fr Company as soon as possible to know when they will deliver your Package to you because of the expiring date. For your information, I have paid for the delivering Charge, Insurance premium.
The only money you will send to the Courier Company to deliver your Package direct to your postal Address in your country is ($150.00 US) One Hundred & Five United States Dollars only being Security Keeping Fee of the Courier Company so far, I would have paid that but they said no because they don't know when you will contact them and in case of demurrage.
You are advice to contact R. M. Wanlida Courier Company now for the delivery of your fund with your deposit SECURITY CODE SCTC/2001DHX/567/;
COMPANY NAME: WAN LI DA COURIER EXTENSION
CONTACT DIRECTOR IN CHARGE: MR NANA ABEY
CONTACT EMAIL: wanlidacourierextn@voila.fr
Telephone +233-206490891
You Are To Forward The Following Informations To Them;
1. YOUR FULL NAME:
2. YOUR HOME OR COMPANY ADDRESS:
3. YOUR TELEPHONE NUMBER:
Let me repeat again, try to contact them as soon as you receive this mail on this email (wanlidacourierextn@voila.fr ) to avoid any further delay and remember to pay them their Security Keeping fee of $150.00 US Dollars for their immediate action.
Note this. The Courier Company doesn't know the contents of the Package. I registered it as a BOX of Africa cloths. They did not know the contents were money. This is to avoid them delaying with the BOX. Don't let them know that box contents money ok.
Thanks and God bless you and your family.
Peter Robert.
Okay. If I send $1,000 can I get express shipping?
Thanks!
________________________________________________________________________________________________
From: INTERNATIONAL MONETARY FUND (I
To: MandG57@aol.com
Sent: Tue, 21 Oct 2008 11:55 pm
Subject: Your long overdue Payment.of 8.5m usd
I have a new email address!
You can now email me at: mrs.almahyman28@yahoo.com
- Very Urgent Attention I saw your name (in the Central Computer among the list of unpaid contractors, inheritance next of kin and lotto beneficiaries that was originated from , Europe, Asia Plus Middle east, Americans) among the list of individuals and companies that your unpaid fund has been approved.Your name appeared among the beneficiaries, who will receive a part-payment of your contractual sum and has been approved already for months. You are requested to get back to me for moredirection and instruction on how to receive your fund.However, we received an email from one Mr. Robert Walter who told us that he is your next of kin and that you died in a car accident last week. He has also submitted his account for us to transfer the fund to him including his International passport; we want to hear from you before we can make the transfer to confirm if you are dead or not.Once again, I apologize to you on behalf Of IMF (International Monetary Fund) www.imf.org Failure to pay your funds in time, which according to records in the system had been long overdue.Please reply through my private Information: mrs.almah@yahoo.frYours Sincerely, Mrs.Alma_Hyman (Mrs.)INTERNATIONAL MONETARY FUND (IMF) NIGERIA OVERDUE PAYMENT RELEASE HEAD QUATERS
Oh no! Another tragic death! First there was the Alaskan plane crash, then the Egyptian one, and then the poisoning of the government official, and all of this has meant millions of dollars for me! It reminds me of that movie, "It's Wonderful Life," where every time a bell rings an angel gets its wings, except that every time someone dies I get a bunch of money!
Oh, wait a minute -- are you telling me that i am dead? Bummer. All these millions of dollars to spend and no one's even sure if I'm dead or not.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
From: Morgan David
Sent: Tue, 21 Oct 2008 5:22 am
Subject: FROM MORGAN DAVID (BUSINESS)
Greetings,
I have interest of investing in your country as well as seek your services in a private and confidential matter. My Name is Mr. Morgan David, a senior Auditor heading computing department here in our bank.
On my routine inspection I discovered a dormant domiciliary account with a Balance of ($10.02 Million USD}.I write to seek your indulgence and assistance in transferring this fund to your country through legal means.
I am proposing to make this transfer to a designated bank account of your choice in your country for investment. At the conclusion of this transaction, you will be given 30% of the total amount, 70% will be for me and my Bank colleagues who will help make this business a success.
Let me know if you can handle it.
Regards,
Mr. Morgan David
Dear Mr David,
Because of recent deaths of family members overseas, I do have a lot of money, but rumors of my owning my own country have been greatly exaggerated.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
From: SGT DAVE MORRISOON
To: undisclosed-recipients:;
Sent: Wed, 22 Oct 2008 7:59 am
Subject: BUSINESS PROPOSAL/INVESTMENT
Dear Sir/Madam
My name is Sergent Dave Morrison, I am an American soldier with Swiss
background, serving in the military withthe army’s 3rd infantry division. With a
very desperate need for assistance, I have summed up courage to contact you. I
found your contact particulars in an address journal. I am seeking your kind
assistance to move the sum of ( $ 35 million u.s. dollars ) Thirty Five million
united states dollars to you, as far as I can be assured that my share will be
safe in your care until I complete my service here, this is no stolen money, and
there are no danger involved.
Source of money: Some money in various urrencies was discovered in barrels at a
farmhouse near one of Saddam’s old palaces in Tikrit-Iraq during a rescue
operation, and it was agreed by staff Sgt James Peter and I that some part of s
money be shared among both of us before informing nybody about it since both of
us saw the money first. This was quite an illegal thing to do, but I tell you
what? No compensation can make up for the risk we have taken with our lives in
this hell hole. Of which my brother in-law was killed by a road side bomb last
week. You will find the story of this money on the web address below; The above
figure was given to me as my share, and to conceal this kind of money became a
problem for me, so with the help of
a British contact working here and his office enjoy some immunity, I was able to
get the package out to a safe location entirely out of trouble spot. he does not
know the real contents of the package, and believes that it belongs to a
brithish/american medical doctor who died in a raid here in Iraq, and before
giving up, trusted me to hand over the package to his family in united states.
I have now found a much secured way of getting the package out of Iraq to your
country for you to pick up, and I will discuss this with you when I am sure that
you are willing to assist me. I want you to tell me how much you will take
from this money for the assistance you will give to me. One passionate appeal I
will make to you is not to discuss this matter with anybody, should you have
reasons to reject this`offer, please and please destroy this message as any
leakage of this information will be too bad for us soldier’s here in Iraq. I do
not know how long we will remain here, and i have been shot, wounded and
survived two suicide bomb attacks by the special grace of God, this and other
reasons i will mention later has prompted me to reach out for help, i honestly
want this matter to be resolved immediately,
Please contact me as soon as possible my only way of communication email.
God Bless You,
Sergent Dave Morrison
Wow! $35 million? Is that part of the missing three billion dollars the government sent overseas to help rebuild Iraq? Of course the money is not stolen; you are entitled to it, and so am I because I pay my taxes.
Bummer about your brother-in-law. At least whenever one of my family members dies he dies somewhere in Africa where everybody apparently has millions of dollars in secret bank accounts.
Where in the US are you from, anyway? Are you married?
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Ow! I Bit My Tongue!
BLIND CUSTOMER: I'm here to see Larry, please.
ME: Sir, that's just not going to happen.
ME: Sir, that's just not going to happen.
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